Today is my 7th wedding anniversary with my husband. It’s coming and going without much fanfare – in fact, I’m not even sure our paths will CROSS today because we have completely different work schedules. Even if that were not the case, we both forgot it was our anniversary anyhow.
And this LACKLUSTER response to what should be an obvious “DATE NIGHT” is PROBABLY the reason so many people consider the 7th year of marriage to be the 7th YEAR ITCH.
Poster for The Seven Year Itch, via IMDB
According to the internet, the seven-year itch describes feeling restless or dissatisfied in your marriage at the 7th year mark, possibly leading to infidelity or divorce.
And, listen… I can confirm that the honeymoon period is OVER; My husband has seen an ACTUAL HUMAN coming out of my nether region. He bought me diapers when I couldn’t stop peeing myself every time I coughed. I know WAY MORE than I would like to about his bowels. The food he gets in his beard pisses me off.
But I can’t say that we’ve succumb to the 7th year itch, and I think it’s probably because we’ve been too busy to have the TIME to feel restless or dissatisfied.
WHY?
Cause we have kids:
My little FAM JAM
KIDS are the long-lasting solution to marital boredom!
THEY keep you busy with a constant stream of new stresses, reasons for anxiety, and ENTERTAINMENT!
Like the new fun game you get to play called, “where’s that smell coming from?” Trust me, you’ll be way too busy retrieving rotten banana peels and cheese to even have time to get restless.
And DATE NIGHT used to be a thing but NOW you’re going on dates ALLLLL the time!! SOOOOO many dates!! They’re PLAY DATES, but still..
And your little ones, they TOTALLY get that your love language is receiving gifts: every week that they bring home a little something special for you from school or day care like head lice, gastrointestinal disease, hand foot and mouth…it’s honestly SO SWEET.
Besides, who needs the spontaneity of a new relationship when you have shared google calendars? Not that you NEED them because you are SOOOO on the same page; You BOTH know by now that the “sexy time” scheduled for 8pm on Saturday the 13th is going to be bumped for watching an episode of The Office for the 5th time. And that’s OKAY!! You’re still side by side in bed while you each scroll on your phones in silence and that is ABSOLUTELY quality time.
And when that aforementioned “sexy time” does happen, WHAT COULD BE BETTER than knowing the quickest, most efficient route to Point Pleasure?! Not only are you UTTERLY EXHAUSTED but we all know that kids wait until the exact moment you’re enjoying yourself THE MOST to come and tell you that they need a snack, so time IS of the essence, my friends.
In the last 7 years of marriage, my husband and I have gone through a PANDEMIC, two job losses, THREE different houses/apartments, two pregnancies, one miscarriage, 1804+ sleepless nights (but whose counting?), leaky roofs, ant infestations, mold problems, births, deaths, and the finales of many beloved television (we’re STILL not over what they did to Game of Thrones, by the way). So, We’re not BORED!
As the meme goes: Aint nobody got TIME for that!!
And, yes, maybe we can’t go on spontaneous brunch dates anymore. But I would take the ambiance of my kiddos giggling together in our kitchen over the latest hot spot in the North end ANY DAY.
And maybe we’re ABSOLUTELY broke now – thank god for overdraft. But I have never felt richer than I do when my 1 year old gives me the sloppiest kisses, or my 4 year old says she wants a “group cuddle” with us.
And, even putting our spawn aside, I am MORE attracted to my husband now than I was then. When I look at pictures from 12 years ago when we started dating, or 7 years ago when we got married, I see a CHILD. I LOVE that his hair has a lot more salt in it these days (figuratively AND literally; he’s a surfer) because he’s a man now and that means his free time is spent having dance parties with his daughter instead of playing Call of Duty.
I’m just saying, I personally don’t feel the 7 year itch is a thing.
Or, if it is, it’s because of a lingering case of hemorrhoids that you’ve had since your post-partum days.
Would you agree?
